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From one Lover to another…

Updated: Nov 10

By: Rev. Daniel J. Bradley


If the dull substance of my flesh were thought,Injurious distance should not stop my way,


For then, despite of space, I would be brought from limits far remote,  where thou dost stay.


No matter then although my foot did stand Upon the farthest earth removed from thee,For nimble thought can jump both sea and landAs soon as think the place where he would be.


But, ah, thought kills me that I am not thought,


To leap large lengths of miles when thou art gone,


But that,  so much of earth and water wrought I must attend time’s leisure with my moan;


Receiving ⌜nought⌝ by elements so slow but heavy tears, badges of either’s woe. Sonett 44—William Shakespeare


Let me not to the marriage of true minds admits impediments. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds bends with the remover to remove.


O, no, it is an ever-fixèd markThat looks on tempests and is never shaken;It is the star to every wand’ring bark, whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.


Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeksWithin his bending sickle’s compass come;


Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error, and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Sonnet 116—William Shakespeare


From her lover:

You're my last thought and my first. I'm not going anywhere. 

 

I'm happier than you can imagine that we have found each other and if I say anything you may find offensive tell me. I don't want to lose this amazing connection or affection or whatever it is we're cultivating. I really don't.”

 

I’ve been a fan of Shakespeare for a very long time. I think I first read Shakespeare in ninth grade, and the play was Romeo and Juliet. I remember how my English teacher described the play “It’s about two star-cross lovers in a world of injustice and oppression by families and systems that were out of their control”

 

This analysis from a college-educated teacher was the biggest bunch of bull honky that I had ever heard. As I read the play I realized it has nothing to do with star cross, lovers, families, or oppressive systems. It has everything to do with stupidity.


Love makes us stupid, and in the heat of the moment, we do things that don’t make sense; for example, in the closing act of the play which is supposed to be this romantic gesture of one’s love for another, Romeo and Juliet die by suicide.


This Shakespearean tragedy makes absolutely no sense to me. I realize that love is more than emotions now. It is an unconditional grace that is shown to an imperfect person. It means you want the best for that person, and we will go to any length to get it.


In this case, William Shakespeare got it dead wrong. Perhaps he was trying to write a tragic romantic comedy comedy hoping for a hallmark hit. God knows the film done in the 90s with Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes was hysterical; If you were smoking pot and drinking a lot of alcohol, there is nothing funny about one dying or two of suicide.  


Feelings may seem so strong in the that they may seem natural at the moment, but they are ephemeral. They come and go like the waves of the ocean; we never know when one will knock us down and show us what is possible or what is not meant to be.


The quote from her lover is so powerful because it is more than just a love note. It is an expression of grace. Grace means unzipping your heart and allowing the other person to see all of you, including the dark and the ugly. I know that’s how God sees us. Sometimes, we want to hide our dark and unattractive, but God sees us anyway. God sees us in all our imperfections and failures, and he makes something beautiful out of the messes of our lives.

 

As a kid, I used to play in my backyard and make mud pies. My hands and clothes would get so filthy that my mother would lose her mind.


I had this pair of tan overalls that came down to my knees. I wore them every day until I had holes in them. I cried the day my mother threw them out. I wanted her to get another pair, but after weeks of searching, we could not find the same item. Remember, this is the 1980s, and Jeff Bezos's empire of Amazon did not exis; thank God.

I will say it again emotions are fleeting. It didn’t take me long to forget that pair of coveralls. I moved on to blue jeans. After all, a 10-year-old kid can’t be seen in coveralls.

 

The message above to his lover should have found its way to Romeo and Juliet. The outcome might have been quite different. Romeo and Juliet would have ridden into the sunset and lived happily ever after.


However, this tale of star-crossed lovers was never about love; it was all about the decisions we make in the moment of our fleeting emotions; my heart goes out to my friend who received this message before her lover passed away; it breaks my heart to watch her go through the grief and pain of this awful catastrophe.


Life happens at the speed of light; it is fleeting. We blink, and it's gone, but this life is not about us. It's about giving ourselves to God, another person, whether that be our best friend, family, or just a neighbor, or a lover.

 

In Hamlet, Polonius is giving his son Laertes some advice; now, if you have read Hamlet, you know that Polonius is the biggest fraud in the story. He is dishonest, deceitful, and has no intention of making his life holy or full of integrity, but in his speech, to Laertes, he tells him “To thy own self be true..,” Shakespeare's got that right: if we can't be true to ourselves, how can we be faithful to God or another person? Finding ourselves in this world is risky. “It means giving up all you fest to lose” and that's some Star Wars wisdom from Yoda to Anikin Skywalker.

What do we do with this time that we have? It doesn't last long; soon, we will breathe our last breath. I don't want to be happy in this world; I want to be joy-filled in the God of the universe who calls me the beloved. I think that's what he was trying to convey to his lover: Grace is more than a fleeting emotion. It is a river that sometimes comes over our feet and causes us to fall on our knees. Many times, I have been overtaken by my feelings, and I have made some awful choices, but in my lifetime, I have had two incredible lovers, and I know that both of them, at one point or another, have hurt me. It took time like that pair of coveralls getting over it but I did, and I know as John Wesley said on his deathbed, “ the best of all God is with us.”


I feel like channeling Forrest Gump at this moment” I'm not a smart man Jenny, but I know what love is…and that's all I have to say about that“

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