Aging--gracefully? Just Do It!

I've been thinking a lot about the concept of aging gracefully. I turned fifty this year, and somehow, I allowed it to affect my state of mind. Perhaps it was when I was offered a ‘senior’ discount at a local diner, or when I looked in the mirror, and all I could see was grey hair. Seriously, I think it was when I began getting offers to join AARP. Somehow, my perception shifted. I began to look at myself as an old man—I am not; trust me, I am not.

It took me a bit of time to realize life is just beginning, hopefully minus the aches, pains, and all the other stuff that comes along. Even though I knew the numbers were going up, I kept lamenting the loss of the past, particularly the days when I was much younger and foolish. Or maybe it was the nostalgic days gone by; I couldn't figure out why. Why do I long for the days of blue light specials and the layaway program at K-Mart to come back? Or, for that matter, K-Mart in and of itself. Who knows? All I know is that my desire this year has been to be young, foolish, and not fifty.

A friend once told me, “Wisdom comes with age.” I have come to believe that statement is not true. Perhaps they should have said, “It is folly to seek wisdom when one still thinks the earth is flat.” While I consider myself perhaps a little wiser than I was in my youth, I do not consider that I have arrived at all knowledge or even come close to understanding what true wisdom is about.  

I have seen myself do things when I was young, and even now, as I get older, I have done and still do things that are unwise, stupid, and foolish; however, I take solace in knowing that it is not only me but countless others.

In life, we celebrate stupidity every day. Cable television, the internet, social media, and of course, YouTube give us millions, if not billions, of examples. The sad reality is this: we are attracted to individuals who do stupid things — plain foolish, to be exact. My personal favorite example is the potbellied, inebriated, middle-aged father who jumps off the roof, hoping to land in the in-ground swimming pool. His family is below, taking video and urging him not to try it…let’s just say it didn't end well. That video gets millions of views daily on YouTube, and that individual's stupidity was recorded nearly thirty years ago and first appeared on America’s Funniest Home Videos when Bob Saget was first hosting!

What I have learned is this: each of us is the author of our own story and/or our own stupidity. No, I did not make a mistake when I made that remark; both can be true at the same time and are not always mutually exclusive. I am suggesting that the choices we make will determine how our story is written in the present and the future. Life is best made when we show up and live for something greater than ourselves. I often think we spend too much time merely existing rather than living fully into God’s story.

We are a vain culture. Our lives revolve around what we think of ourselves and, more importantly, what others think of us. Both are illusions that tell us what our worth is in this world. I have proof: how many selfies have you taken since the advent of the cellular phone?

Calling personal pictures of oneself “selfies” is vanity run amok. Yet photographing ourselves is so popular today that it's easy to think we are the stars of our own movie or reality television show. I must admit I have probably taken more “selfies” than my fair share over the years. Buying into the idea that they must be shared with the world on social media.

Yet, in my gut, what I desire is something tangible; real.

Let me explain: I want real photographs printed at Fotomat (anyone born after 2000 can find an image on Google). I want to take a roll of film, drop it off, and wait a week to see how the pictures come out. I want old-school picture albums with family and friends; I want to remember the times spent together, and I want a world where everything wasn’t stored in the Cloud or when we even knew what the Cloud was. I long for the day when the internet didn’t exist and it was not possible to send a picture around the world in milliseconds- too often these pictures (images) are of someone’s main dish at a restaurant or a photo of an incision right after surgery while recovering in a fashionable gown.

More than all of that, I want the fullness of human connection! I want to embrace the fullness of one another in a way that is not fleeting, but that lasts not just for a moment—but a lifetime!

I often talk about human connection, and maybe now is the time to reflect on the idea that, as human beings, we can’t survive on our own. We need one another. We need to be hugged—to hold one another and realize that the days ahead are closer to our departure from this world than those behind us. I am continually learning that “every end is a new beginning.” In other words, even if our story ends as we cross over the Jordan River, death turns backward, and new life abounds in God’s kin-dom, not ours.

It’s up to us to choose to live in every moment and not worry about what could have been. It’s urgent, as there is no time left for nostalgia that holds us captive in the past. As human beings, we need to stop behaving like dogs chasing cars for the perfect job, home, or toy we can buy with a click online. Or perhaps we are really searching for the perfect life? News flash: the perfect life doesn’t exist! What does exist is the power to endure the troubles of this world and the realization that, as we run this race, we are not alone. Every day we lace up our Nikes and head out the door for our run through the day; we don’t do it alone- we do it with God.

In everything, we need to acknowledge God as the crafter of our stories and us as the participants. Thanksgiving is a time to look across the table and thank God for who God is and what God has given us. Family isn’t perfect, and family functions can be difficult and sometimes nearly impossible to navigate. In those moments, we turn to God and ask for help.

I often think that if I drove the bus, everyone would arrive safely at their bus stop; or if I directed the perfect play or orchestra and people just did things my way, life would be good. Truth be told, I know nothing about driving a bus, directing a play, or conducting an orchestra, and thank God people don’t do things my way, because they might find themselves on a roof jumping into an in-ground swimming pool and missing it altogether.

It’s better to leave that stuff up to God and realize that I am just another bozo on the bus.

I must not only realize it but believe it in my heart.

Life is the unending opportunity to give thanks to God for helping us live our best life. It is about sharing the road with someone else and wanting the best for that person. We only get one pair of Nikes in this life. I hope that when we depart this world, they are well-worn!